Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize