Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
