I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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