it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
