Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
