I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
