your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
