How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
