He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
