There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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