I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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