It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
it was like eating out sand paper
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
