Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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