are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
