remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
