Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
