Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
True strength comes from lack of pants
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
