Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
