There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
my sisters under your porch take her home
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
