Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
