We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize