Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
