He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
