I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
