you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
