you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize