Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
as a side note pls kill me
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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