I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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