but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
