She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
