I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
