after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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