is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
