You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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