on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
