Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
