Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
