I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize