3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
