I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
