plz talk dirty to me
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
