if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
