A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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