i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
