Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Randomize
