Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
