we made out on top of his cat.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
