I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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