she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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