Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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