summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
