Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
