i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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