That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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