brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
