Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
