think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
