After last night, I could never be a politician.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
